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11 entries this month
Nearly there06:05 Apr 29 2011
Times Read: 772
The levayah (funeral) is at midday. We bury our dead at the earliest possible time, that’s more a traditional thing than religious. I think it stems from living in the desert and not letting the body rot or be pulled about by wild animals.
There will be no sitting shivah today because of the Sabbath, this is a week long period in which other members of the family and the friends of the dead pay their respects.
What I do know is I’ve been up for two hours now. I guess it’s natural to not be able to sleep at a time like this, my body certainly isn’t craving it right now.
As far as the religious side of things are concerned everything will be carried off to the letter and I will go along with that. As far as tradition dictates, and that includes getting together with the family etc, I just don’t know where I’m at. I may just turn and walk away from the grounds (cemetery), get in my car and head back home. It will be seen that I’m making a statement by doing this but that can’t be helped, I guess they can think what they like.
Dad10:16 Apr 28 2011
Times Read: 793
My dad was never going to be a great dad, but he was always there in emergencies. The little he spoke always seemed to be the right thing to say at those very important times. But he just didn’t say enough. I don’t know what makes a great dad, I do know I’ll miss him ….. I feel guilty that I’m still a little blasé about the whole thing. I informed one of his friends as to the funeral arrangements and she just burst into tears. I couldn’t help thinking why can’t I do that?!!
It’s strange that I cry again now, alone, whilst I write about him … without having to explain it.
He was never the family man, but we never went without. He was a good friend to his friends and had quite literally hundreds of them. That last sentence just seemed important to say.
When Frank Sinatra sang ‘My Way’, that was so written for him.
I’m a dad, and now I’m scared that I don’t know what makes a great dad. But then this is not about me … but it so is.
The support from this website has been amazing, the private mails and comments have reached and touched me …. I really do thank you all.
R.I.P Alan Lawrence (28 Sept 1935 – 27 April 2011)08:11 Apr 27 2011
Times Read: 838
I lost my father in the early hours of this morning. He lived a good and full life, maybe he did have regrets but we will never know.
What’s amazing to me is that I’m sat here typing on what is a very solemn time for me. Not quite sure how I feel, sure I’m upset in ways I can’t even begin to explain but nevertheless I’m sat here typing. Almost composed. I don’t feel numb … just don’t know how I feel.
I am the baby of three brothers, I have my eldest flying in from Israel either later today or tomorrow the middle brother is running about with my uncle collecting the death certificate and arranging the funeral with the synagogue … and I’m sitting here typing.
I guess technically I’m now an orphan, wow, that sounds strange.
I don’t live in London anymore and I’m not in a position to do anything as far as the arrangements are concerned, still the baby, so I sit here and type…… and cry.
No one is truly ‘gone’ if we remember them, and I’m remembering, I’m typing.
Three day week ... 08:17 Apr 26 2011
Times Read: 851
Firstly a note about my daughter.
I asked her if she’s looking forward to the wedding on Friday and I got back ‘’what wedding?” then in her stride added, ‘’oh you mean the Royal Wedding’’, I have no idea what other weddings are floating about right now but she showed little or no interest and I blame the parents :-p
She went on to add that she has a disco on Saturday evening, so I asked if she was looking forward to that and I got this, quote: “Another dress, another dance floor, another hangover!” I sincerely hope these are lyrics from a song!!
About the Royal Wedding, we have to take the time off as it’s been given as a bank holiday but … we have to include it as one of our annual days off!
With Good Friday and East Monday it made for a nice four day break especially with the weather staying remarkably warm and dry (hottest April on record). But for some reason I find myself craving the normality of life again.
Good Yom Tov09:43 Apr 24 2011
Times Read: 857
Today is the 6Th day of Pesach or ‘The Passover’. It’s also Easter Sunday which is pretty cool as the two holidays don’t often tally up at the same time.
For me it’s a time of reflection as this year sees an ever decreasing Passover Table (Seder Table).
I remember a time when the family would get together and seat 30 of us around a totally unorganised table for a meal, the antics were both solemn and funny, I guess it could be likened to Xmas or Thanksgiving with the family, but the food was always the best.
As the years passed and the elders of the family passed away and holding the family together was always going to be tough. When I married I added to ‘that’ table ….. but, well let’s just say life spins some unexpected events.
This year saw eight of us having a conventional meal with two of the guests just being close friends.
It wasn’t religious as is the purpose of Pesach but we did get to ask that all important question, Ma Nishtana (Hebrew: מה נשתנה), ‘’why is this night different from all other nights?”
A question I ask myself on many a night!
Time flies10:47 Apr 16 2011
Times Read: 885
I found it amusing that yesterday’s rehearsal for the Royal Wedding was also a rehearsal for the queen’s burial. That would be more to do with the route the household cavalry would be taking and checking out any security issues.
Just over 200 of this prestigious unit were called back from Afghanistan to take part in The Wedding next week, a shame we can’t call all our forces back but that’s war I guess and a bigger security issue for our nation must still be addressed.
We also had the RAF doing some practise fly-pasts yesterday, all very exciting. They have three bases around here due to the location of the sea I’m guessing and the kids were lovin’ it.
Was it really 30 years ago that Charles and Di wed?!! Time flies. I remember Diane’s uncle making a public statement to the effect that she was still a virgin, (something to with an age old law, probably from Henry’s time)!! But now, no one has batted an eye-lid to the fact that Katie and Willy have been sleeping around since they first met at university. Tempus fugit.
I want that one!!!18:04 Apr 12 2011
Times Read: 913
So I’ve had the past two days off and today I actually got down to the seafront. It was much cooler than yesterday, colder in fact, but the sun was up and I was determined to buy an ice-cream (we have Rossi’s ice cream here that just happens to be the best in the country, make that the world, I’m sure I’ve mentioned that before) and I was determined to be able to say I had one in the lovely sunshine (the fact that the breeze was more a gale is another story and it felt like minus ten). I would have taken a picture but I only had one hand that could have been free (fingers gripping the ice-cream from the sleeve) and the other hand didn’t want to come out my pocket!
The power of a simple text10:02 Apr 10 2011
Times Read: 924
‘’All is well,’’ three lil’ words that made my day.
My daughter is in Egypy for two weeks and I asked her to text me in her first week just to let me know how things were going.
I am so happy and proud as I thought she may have forgot. I’ve learnt (with her) that not setting my expectations too high means I can boast about how thoughtful she is.
She is taking loads of pics and as soon as I get my hands on them I guess I will be showing a few off on here.
Did I mention she ended the text with ‘’I love you.’’
Yay me!15:23 Apr 08 2011
Times Read: 933
I booked a two day holiday at work for this Monday and Tuesday some time ago and who would have believed that I (apparently) booked the best two sunny days of this early spring, so on with this nice long weekend. I figured I’d need a rest as it’s been non stop at work since Xmas and this little break would give me a rest till the end of the month’s Bank Holidays kick in. But to have gorgeous weather too, I must have done something right after all. The pessimists are already saying to enjoy it as summer will be crap this year but that remains to be seen. Who cares?! Right now I’m basking!!
Stormy weather ... 08:59 Apr 05 2011
Times Read: 945
The weather out here has become a little stormy, I guess that's the price you pay for wanting things to warm up too quickly.
My daughter goes to Egypt on Thursday as part of her Easter break. We spoke of the pyramids and the Valley of the Kings on the weekend and she seemed real excited.
I worry that she is going to a potential ‘hot zone’ as it’s all a little to close to the trouble for my liking but I’ve been told time and again that there is nothing to worry about. She will have her mum with her and some friends ant their family but … well I just can’t stop worrying. She is under instruction to call me once she has settled and then on the weekend.
I don’t want to spoil her holiday or make her worried so I’ve kept my thoughts locked away from her.
Can’t wait till she’s back .. and she can bring the sun with her too.
Mother's day.09:41 Apr 02 2011
Times Read: 963
Tomorrow, April 3rd is Mothering Sunday.
I lost my mum to cancer nearly 14 years ago. Not a day goes past that I don’t have thoughts about her, I don’t need a recognised day to celebrate this wonderful person. She’s in my kitchen wiping down a cooking board or dicing some veg. She’s in the bedrooms shaking the sheets and airing the towels ……..
I do think it’s a good thing that a day is put aside for mothers who are still with us, but just because you carry and give birth does not make you a great mother. It’s not automatic. That said, I do wish all mothers a wonderful day and hope you're all being looked after.
When I look back on my life I can see my mum was always there for me. I’m not talking about the times I fell and grazed my knees and she would dab it with a cloth and work some magic to make the pain go away or even when I would break my heart over a girl and she just seemed the only person to know what to say if she ever needed to speak. As I grew so did our relationship and I could also call her ‘friend’.
I lost her way to early … and yes I’m hurt and angry about that.
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COMMENTS
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Sinora
09:46 Apr 29 2011
Whatever you do will be just fine *hugs*.
Theban
12:01 Apr 29 2011
Do what your father would of wanted you to do perhaps...what ever you decide will be right for you, my thoughts are with you.
xxEmaeraldxx
15:21 Apr 29 2011
It is in poignant moments like these we never really know what to do.. your heart will lead the way. My thoughts and prayers are with you.